Beep boop - this is a robot. A new show has been posted to TWiT…
What are your thoughts about today’s show? We’d love to hear from you!
2 Likes
The moral panic that places all the blame for teenagers’ mental health problems on “screens” and social media is an excuse for many people who happen to be bad parents to shift the blame off themselves. Everywhere teenagers are, online, if you actually look at what they’re saying, it turns out they’re struggling with abuse by their parents and other relatives. The true prevalence of child abuse will never show up in statistics, because the vast majority of it is never reported to any outside authority.
Of course, there is some blame owed to social media: bullies at school have more access to their victims when they’re at home than they used to, and online bullies who are nowhere near the kid also have access to them. And, there are a bunch of specific issues that social media easily exacerbates, like eating disorders.
But I loathe the focus on “screens.” Yes, there are probably differences in how the brain processes some of the things it encounters on a flat little screen with a blue glow, but outside observers like parents see a kid looking at a screen and process it with all the sophistication of a monkey. They see someone using a screen while having problems, so they assume the problems are uniquely caused by the screen. The lingering division between “real life” and “the internet” is the same:
monkey see flat thing, monkey check behind flat thing and see nobody there… things on flat thing must not be real! nobody behind it! nothing monkey does on flat thing matters! monkey throw feces at flat thing
uh-oh, monkey feel bad while looking at flat thing! flat thing made monkey feel bad! flat thing bad!
Anyway, Leo mentioned Stranger Danger and that’s an important factor in all this. Stranger Danger was also a distraction from the fact that, even statistically, the greatest danger to kids in terms of abuse (sexual and otherwise) is either a parent or someone known and trusted by the parents.
1 Like
I’m afraid I reject this out of hand. Do you have any basis to make the claim? Parenting, like life itself, is hard, and messy–there is no manual. I refuse to believe that most parents don’t want the best for their children.
Society is constantly changing and one aspect of that is definitely the way we [fail to] interact in a healthy manner. I think technology has an isolating aspect that fundamentally disconnects us from each other. It started with TV and progressed with the Internet, and with the constant drone of the ever-present click-bait news telling us how bad and dangerous the world is, it’s too easy to feel the need to withdraw from the rest of the world. Another issue is that it has become more and more likely for a child to be a sole child, which means the child doesn’t even have siblings to learn how to interact with. If you lose your ability to empathize for others, then it becomes easier to devalue and dehumanize them, and I think that explains a lot of the political polarization we’re seeing now.
2 Likes
I have only anecdotal evidence.
Of course parenting is hard and messy. No person is perfect and no parent is perfect, and that’s fine. Mistakes are to be expected. But, just because a parent “wants” the “best” for their children doesn’t mean they are going to choose kind, healthy methods of trying to achieve that–or that what they’re trying to achieve is good. After all, conservative parents who abuse their kids emotionally, verbally, and physically for being LGBTQ tend to think they’re only doing what’s best for them.
1 Like
One thing I learnt from visitng my Italian friends was you don’t necessarily buy Lavazza for the best coffee taste… I was going to fill the car up with coffee, pasta and olive oil (all about a third of the price I would pay back home in Germany), but when we went to buy the coffee, I said I wanted what they were drinking, Lavazza, but he asked me what sort of water we have back at home. Our water was much harder than the local Italian water, where he lives.
He pointed me at a different coffee and I took 2 Lavazza and the one he recommended. It was true, the Lavazza tasted terrible, but the one he recommended was exquisite.
1 Like
Although I must say most parents have no clue about what and where their kids go online, and they don’t care much either, back in the day we used to recommend parents have the home computer in a shared space so it was always a glance away. Nowadays most double digit aged kids have a smartphone and they can wander through the internets worst places.
3 Likes
I’ve just bought some new SIMs here, and noticed access to adult content defaults to off. Not sure if this is mandated now. Also, today there are many more parental controls available in mesh WiFi kit and the phone OS. When ours were in their teens, there was very little of this available.
1 Like
I have parental controls setup on my kids devices. I consider myself technically competent and it’s still a pain in the a#@ to manage.
Annoyingly, the service I have the least issues in terms of managing parental controls is Messenger Kids 
But back to my original point of this reply: if I have annoyances managing my kids devices given my technical experience; many parents out there have very little hope against kids more technically savvy than they are.
2 Likes
It’s always easier to get out than In, that being said, pretty much anything can be breached thanks to the Israelis
1 Like
I didn’t get to complete my thought about parenting and it’s been on my mind ever since. My parenting in particular. As stated on the show, I don’t believe parenting is the ONLY helpful thing in the scenario regarding children on social media amongst other things, and I agree with Mr Laporte that some parents could fall into a trap of thinking it is the only answer.
So we’ve been fortunate as parents regarding two of our boys. Our oldest boy that’s an adult and doesn’t live here flat out disappoints me. (I’m not speaking for Queen Pruitt). But he was given the same blueprint on child rearing that his two younger brothers live. Unfortunately he’s chosen a different path. I wish him well, but can’t be a bail out parent all the time for a child that purposely makes poor decisions when he knows better. Nor do I believe in telling you “good job” for doing the things you’re supposed to do. Example: if you know you have kitchen duty, I’m not going to sing your praises. Why? Because you KNOW today is your kitchen duty day. It’s what you’re supposed to do.
Anyway, I really enjoy the conversations and laughs on TWiG. I’m fortunate to be here and appreciate you listeners/viewers. Even if we sometimes disagree. 
3 Likes
I am with you there, looking at your profile pic, could be something to do with age 
.
I often believe in praise where it is due, but not just for the sake of it.
1 Like
So sorry I cut you off Ant. And I’m glad you finished the thought here. Apologies.
I think I was over-reacting to the idea that parenting is everything. I used to believe in its paramount importance, but once I actually had kids I realized that children are also born with innate temperaments and characteristics that no amount of parenting can change. Furthermore, after the age of 12, peers have much more impact on children than their parents.
Parenting is important, you bet, but it’s not everything.
2 Likes