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I started drinking (beer and wine) when I was somewhere between 8 or 10. I was allowed to sip my father’s beer, when we had guests. Likewise with 10 or so, I got a small glass of wine at the table, when we had my parents entertained - 3 or 4 times a year.
I quickly learnt that you only drink when you have company and you don’t drink to excess. By the time my peers discovered alcohol, I had already learnt to drink responsibly. They would drink themselves into oblivion and I would politely say I had had enough, thank you.
It probably helped that I had a high tolerance for alcohol - when I was 21, my colleagues at work said they had never seen me drunk and started plying me with double vodka and orange as soon as we got to the social club. We went onto a disco afterwards. By the time the night was over, I’d had around 20 double vodkas, but I was still the only one clear headed enough to order taxis home for everyone else. They gave up after that, thankfully.
These days, I probably drink half a dozen glasses of whisky and maybe 2 bottles of wine and half a dozen bottles of beer per year, if that. I think we have shared 2 bottles of wine and I’ve drunk maybe 3 beers and 3 glasses of whisky… We have our company Christmas party on Thursday, but it is in the middle of nowhere and I will be driving, so no alcohol.
When it comes to porn, it was similar. I discovered my father’s erotic magazine stash when I was about 10, in his bedside cabinet. That was mainly very tame - just naked women. But my parents taught me about love and that sex was something loving couples do. That stuck with me. Later, when I got Internet at home, one of my first freelance jobs was testing a website for an online friend - the Internet Museum of Pornography.
Again, going in through that as a reference gave me an understanding of its history, from ancient Egypt to the current day. I find a lot of things “interesting”, but a vast majority I would never want to inflict on my partner - the background from the museum plus the education I got from my parents meant I could understand the difference between images designed to titillate and reality, the same as violence on TV and in film (I was brought up with the ethic of, if you resort to violence, you have already lost your argument).
So, in all, it really is down to the parents to instill the knowledge and self-discipline in their children. To show them the limits, but also to explain those limits in a kind and loving way, not to whack their kids over the head with the theological ban-hammer, but to explain it in clear terms.
I was babysitting for a friend. She wanted to go on a date and I was looking after her 3 kids (3, 5 and 6). The son, the youngest did something wrong and his mother screamed at him to go to his room. She left shortly after, saying he could come back down after an hour.
I sat with the girls watching Kika, but he was screaming and crying. So I excused myself and went upstairs to him and sat with him on the floor, calmed him down and he said it was unfair, he wanted to play with his sisters. I asked him, if he understood, why he was there in his room, alone? He didn’t. His mother had never explained punishment.
I actually explained that he had done something wrong, did he understand that what he had done had hurt his sister? He did. I then explained what punishment was, that the whole point of being in his room, alone, was a result of what he had done and he was supposed to think about what he had done and why, and that not being allowed to play with his sisters was his punishment. I also explained that this wasn’t something his mother did “to him” out of spite or with no reason. I also explained that her parents had done the same to her, when she was little, and that someday, when he had children of his own, he would have to do something similar, when they misbehaved - obviously a lot more simple terms. He actually understood and accepted that he had to stay up there alone for another 30 minutes (by the time I had explained everything to him) and he was actually quiet and, when he came back down, he told his sister he was sorry and they started playing again.
Having patience and being able to explain things and setting limits in terms they can understand is a big part of parenting and that isn’t something a good parent should fob off on the school system or other people. THEY are responsible for the upbringing of their children.
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Patrick hit the nail on the head when he said the reason the right is moderated more is because they say things that are more subject to moderation. That doesn’t get said enough in the moderation conversations.
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After hearing the conversation about Chrome I think the DOJ should order a code audit before they proceed to determine if Chrome actually gives Google the advantages they imply exist (outside of Google being the default search engine). Also, Leo’s mention of YouTube makes me wonder what position Google Video would be in now if Google hadn’t acquired YouTube.
Random question but were the bullet points for this episode description done by a human or AI? I notice they’re more detailed and descriptive than usual. I like it either way, just wondering…
They were done by Anthony Nielsen (who’s filling in for Benito) but I am pretty sure he got some help from Opus AI.
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